When Resilience becomes a dirty word.

Anyone who knows me knows I am all about resilience, so it may surprise you to see me refer to it as a dirty word, yet sometimes I feel it can become one. We all need resilience now more than ever, as we negotiate our way through a global pandemic, anti-racism protests, recession, unemployment, and a divisive, populist political landscape. The weight of the world feels heavy at the moment, and we all need to draw on our own resilience to get us through the current challenges. I do wonder if the word ‘resilience’ is overused and mis-used at times though, particularly in the workplace.

‘Be more resilient’ is a phrase managers can sometimes use to dismiss colleague concerns about aspects of work that are not working for them. It has become a ‘get out of jail free’ card to push problems back on to teams rather than tackle them. Needing to ‘be more resilient’ can be used by managers to cover up a myriad of issues with organisational culture or poor management approaches. The colleagues who raised the issue can end up feeling gas lighted. By this I mean they are made to feel as though they are in the wrong for raising the issue, as managers continually refuse to acknowledge any problem.

This push back, head in the sand management approach can cause real long-term issues in the workplace, as over time a culture of fear develops, where colleagues feel unable to raise any concerns as they know they will be met with ‘you just need to be more resilient.’

If you’re feeling shut down, then the steps below may be helpful. Picture credit Sydney Sims Unsplash

So what can you do if you are on the receiving end of this? Ironically you will need at least some resilience to address the issue! My advice would be to follow these three steps;

Positively challenge

Explain why you feel there is an issue, and provide some real examples of evidence to support your claims of where the problems have arisen. It is difficult to argue with hard facts, so arrange a meeting with your manager, do your homework, and go in prepared. For example, if you feel you have been bullied in the workplace, provide evidence of exactly what happened, when, and how it made you feel. Whether intentional or not, the point is if the behaviour made you feel a certain way, steps need to be taken to eradicate this behaviour. It is not good enough to say ‘be more resilient.’ You may also consider speaking to your HR department.

Consider whether you want to stay

If you have tried step one and you aren’t being heard, or taken seriously, it is time to consider whether this is the right working environment for you. It is time to make a plan for the short, medium and long term. You may need to reflect upon the future you want for yourself and do some soul searching. This will be linked to your Purpose (one of the dimensions of resilience). Consider where you want to get to, and then plan the steps to get you there. If you are struggling to identify where you want to go, or how to get there, some coaching could provide clarity for you. This can be a very empowering process and helps you to avoid feeling ‘stuck’ or ‘trapped.’

Build your own resilience

We all have a certain amount of resilience, and you can build yours up by referring to my Resilience Wheel. This refers to the seven aspects you can work on to help improve your own levels of resilience. These areas are; attitude, purpose, confidence, adaptability, support, meaning and energy. When all these elements are optimised and in balance the result is greater resilience to handle whatever life throws at you.

Resilience gives us all the power to cope, by learning, adapting and growing from life’s experiences and springing forward into a new, improved way of thinking and feeling, which can lead to a more fulfilling life.